The power of saying NO!!!

JUST SAY NO!!!!

JUST SAY NO!!!!


Saying no is perhaps the most important productivity tool that exists. Saying no is an art. It is also perhaps the most difficult thing to do for most people. I used to dread the occasions where I knew I will have to say no and I used to prepare for such situations for days. Now, I almost look forward to saying no to people and I actually enjoy the process! Find out how the change happened.

1. You are doing everyone a favour by saying no.

Whenever you are saying NO to someone, remember that it is for their benefit! By saying no, you are

-Giving the person an opportunity to look for someone who can do the job better.

– Avoiding negative feelings about the person.

2. Visualize the alternative (to saying no) in vivid detail.

– You will feel bad and will curse yourself for accepting the task.

– You will do a bad job.

– You will hate the person for putting this on to you.
– The person will hate you for doing a bad job.

– You should not have said yes, if you were not going to do a good job, the person will tell you later.

3. Remember what happened the last time you said yes!

4. Use the situation as an opportunity to build a better relationship.

If you like the person and don’t want to burn your bridges then having to say no can actually be a great opportunity to improve your relationship with this person. This is very much possible, provided you take the extra effort to honestly explain to the person why you cannot do this and why you value the relationship and that you really believe that by doing a half-baked job you will be hurting the relationship.

5. Enjoy!

Sometimes, saying no is just pure joy! The joy gets magnified if you do not provide any reasons at all!

6. Go overboard explaining why you cannot.

The explaining might make the person feel better than if you had said yes!

7. Use the big–picture test.

Focus on the big picture. What are your ultimate goals and objectives? Is this task in sync with your goals? If not, just say no and rest assured that you have made the correct decision.

8. Use a bit of cunning if you need to (in this order).

a. Negotiate. If you can take this off my plate, then I can do that. Or if I can get resources for this, then I can do that.

b. Postpone. Let me think about it and get back to you on email.

c. Deflect. I cannot do this BUT I can help you with that.

d. Bluff. Carry around your dummy calendar (choc a bloc of course) and show it to the person!

e. Throw the ball back. Ask for help in deciding how you should fit in the new task on the list of priorities (especially if it is your boss).

f. Lower expectations. Point out that you might be able to do everything, but not to the usual high standards that are expected.

g. Googly or curve ball. Say yes, then call back or SMS in the next 10 minutes to say why you cannot do it. Why 10 minutes? Well because that is the average time required for homo sapiens to come up with a good excuse.

h. Scare them off if nothing works! It’s just that I have this crazy flu and I don’t want you to get it

9. If they get really pushy, switch gears and think of it as a game.

There is no way you can say yes NOW! Smile and tell them so.

10. And before we end, here are a few statements for you to practice!

I have another commitment.
I have no experience with that.
I know you will do a wonderful job yourself.
I am in the middle of several projects.
I am not comfortable with that.
I need to leave some free time for myself.
I would rather decline than do a mediocre job.
I am not taking on any new responsibilities.
I would rather help out with another task.
Let me hook you up with someone who can do it.
I am not the most qualified person for the job.
I do not enjoy that kind of work.
I do not have any more room in my calendar.
I hate to split my attention among projects.
I need to focus more on my personal life.
I need to focus on my career right now.
Some things have come up that need my attention.
This really is not my strong point.

REMEMBER!!!! It’s very easy to over-promise and then under-perform. Be realistic about what you can accomplish and don’t feel like you have to agree to your client’s every wish. If you can’t do it, you can’t do it and you’ll occasionally have to tell your clients the truth. Being overloaded, but still promising to meet their needs doesn’t bode well for you, and will only result in disappointed clients later. Also, though it’s hard to turn down new projects, you’ll have to do that from time to time if you’re already overloaded. If you take on more than you can handle, you’ll short-change current projects and disappoint new clients.

EXTRACTED FROM tickledbylife.com
Shalu Wasu is a creativity consultant and trainer based in Singapore apart from being guest faculty at select institutes.

4 Networking Mistakes You Don’t Know You’re Making

A handshake is more than just a greeting. It is also a message about your personality and confidence level. In business, a handshake is an important tool in making the right first impression writes Lahle Wolfe

Whether you’re looking for a job or not, you’ve probably been encouraged to “network, network, network!” more times than you can count. Are all those conferences and events you’re attending leading to new connections or opportunities?

No? You’re not the only one. Many networking newbies have tendencies that actually inhibit building real relationships with their new contacts.

The good news: it’s not that hard to fix. Here’s what you might not even realize you’re doing wrong—and what to do about it.

Mistake #1: Talking about Yourself—All the Time
You’re talented! Eager! Ambitious! You have lots of ideas to share! And you want to make sure that every person you meet at the event knows who you are and what you do!

We get it. And yes, sharing your story with new contacts is important. But sharing your life story is overkill: Nothing can set a person off more than an aspiring professional who takes no interest in anything beside her own ambitions.

The Fix: Take Some Interest. Stop highlighting your latest accomplishment and start listening instead. Find people with industries or careers of interest to you, and ask them questions: How did they get their start? What do they love about their jobs, and what do they wish they could change? By taking an interest in your contact, you will make her feel valued—and hopefully interested in continuing the relationship. And you’ll likely gain some new insights, too.

Mistake #2: Expecting a Job
You’re looking for a new job, so you hit the circuit of industry events every week, asking every person you meet to help you find your new gig—after all, it’s not what you know, it’s who.

Well, yes. But give people some credit: If you pursue networking opportunities purely for the job prospects, your contacts will figure you out. You will leave them feeling used, and they will be less likely to recommend you for an opportunity.

The Fix: Provide Some Value. If you’re looking for a job, don’t ask for it—work for it. Do some research into what your contact does both in and out of work and find ways that you can contribute your time or support. Perhaps you could volunteer your expertise in social media for the big convention she’s heading up, or offer your accounting knowledge for her non-profit. Provide some opportunity for contacts to see you in a working light, and you’ll be that much closer to a good referral.

Mistake #3: Not Saying Thanks
You attended a large event last week and grabbed coffee with one of your new professional contacts afterward. And then—the week got busy, and you didn’t get around to saying thank you. She’ll understand, right?

Maybe. But if you don’t show gratitude, even in the smallest (or largest) event, you risk leaving a negative impression—probably not the desired outcome of your meeting.

The Fix: Just Do It. Whether you pack notecards in your purse for post-meeting scribbles, set yourself a reminder on Gmail to send off a quick note, or just insert a quick “thanks for taking time to meet with me!” at the final handshake, you must say thank you. Not only will you solidify your reputation as a courteous individual, but you won’t be leaving your contacts with a bad taste in their mouths. Always say thank you, and your good impression will last until your next meeting.

Mistake #4: Forgetting to Follow
You meet someone over a networking happy hour and tell her you’ll send her your portfolio. But as the night goes on, she has a few drinks and meets a few dozen more people. You’re sure she’s forgotten all about you, so you decide it’s not even worth emailing her the next day.

Bad idea. Meeting someone is just the first step in networking. In order to forge a lasting relationship (and make sure people don’t forget you), you need to follow up, every single time.

The Fix: Stay Accountable. If you told a networking contact that you would do something, do it. Even if you’re not sure she remembers you, you can bet that she will be grateful that you took the time out of your day to send her what you had discussed. If you’re worried about forgetting, keep a pen near your business card holder to quickly scribble out what follow-up actions you have for that contact, and review your cards after the event.

Above all, keep in mind that networking isn’t about short-term gain, but about learning, growing, and forming connections. Adopt good social habits, and you’ll see your skills and comfort improve, your opportunities increase, and your relationships grow—for the long haul.

This article originally appeared on The Daily Museby Diane Kulseth .

Photograph